Ok to cut a very long story short - I used to be an addict. A bad one.
Alcohol and many types of drugs had me firmly in their grip. No matter how hard I tried I could not quit. I tried everything.
I held to the belief that I controlled my fate - that I could heal my life that the power was within me.
I was a VERY driven and motivated person & started & ran many businesses - but could not kick drugs, alcohol & many other addictions.
Apart from drugs & alcohol, I was addicted to work, adrenalin, stealing and sex.
To paint a quick picture: my house was set up like a pub, there were 4 drinking bars & at least 2 beers on tap at all times. I brewed 400 litres at a time of beer - normally between 8% & 12% alcohol. To put it in everyday terms I used to drink the equivalent to a block of Emu export every night - except weekend where it would be 2-3 bottles of Jack Daniels a night.
This would often be coupled with both prescription & illicit drugs.
I found it hard to go into any business without stealing something - even though I didn’t want it. It was a compulsion. I regularly ripped people off and had no shame about it. I had no regard for authority or the law and stole nearly anything (including cars) for profit.
Relationships were a nightmare - I wanted everything & gave nothing...I had absolutely no ability to love. I started getting violent too. The last thing I wanted was to hurt someone I was trying to love so I tried to stay away.
I tried to give up drugs & alcohol but it was no use. I had a huge run of very bad things happen & eventually I decided that I would end my life. I was very calm about this - it was a relief to me. So I sold most of what I owned & bought a coaster bus & 4wd motorbike & travelled through W.A. just wanting to have a holiday & do some photography before finding a peaceful spot...
But for a number of reasons I decided to see if there was a God. I was always anti 'god' & anti religion due to a bad childhood as part of a cult.
But a VERY strange thing happened - when I read the Bible it came to life. It was like someone was talking to me. the things that were said were PROFOUND and much more meaningful than any self help book I had read (and that was a LOT!). I read psychology books galore but the techniques were really weak after time - but the Bible answered WHY these things were meaningless & also had advice on many other things.
More than this the Bible introduced me to the idea that maybe Jesus was actually alive now & could help me! > No way there IS NO GOD!
For more of this read Why Jesus...